unfinishedSFS's
by WEAT-BIX
Summary: will be posted under stories for sadists once their finished. a bunch of imcoplete one shots. i have to fix them yet but it's takeing me too long and they mightnt get finished at all so ...
1. 1 sirius gets into gryfffindoor

S.F.S****

Sirius gets into Gryffindor

By: weat-bix 

Rating: R to be safe even though I cant read it.

**Warning:** profanities, high level violence/fights, child abuse, pain, longings for death, small amounts of happiness & good things and my ever different way of thinking.

Disclaimer: J.K.Rowling owns most characters, muggles. & sorta their situations. I own a weird enough mind to think of the stuff I wrote like this (as well as some other ways) and a computer to type it on which actually doesn't belong to me but anyway.

Summary: Sirius gets into gryffindor, his cuz aint happy neither are his parents.

Category: general/angst

Spoilers: Harry Potter books (not no' 2)

A/N: ok here's the deal – don't read this if you're looking for anything nice. My mind came up with this and well –. I think I might be a little violent. All my close friends agree that I'm aggressive and people that don't know me well think I'm quiet and weird, probably passive so this is a bit of the passive aggressive chick.

**Sirius gets into Gryffindor**

"**GRYFFINDOR"**

A few scattered cheers from muggle-born Gryffindors with a surprised gape from the rest.

Sirius placed the hat on the stool and slowly walked over to the Gryffindor table as the realization struck 'his whole life had just changed in a second'. He sat down and laid his head on his arms as absolute feelings of pleasure and horror filled him.

**A Confrontation**

He hadn't talked to anyone during the feast and tried to stay within the crowd moving up to the tower but found they were moving away from him.

He heard a shout from behind him "oi Sirius, don't think you can get away with this."

He turned around to come face to face with Lucius Malfoy. Malfoy was two years older but because of Sirius's height they were on eye level. "And what are you going to do about it?" Sirius said defiantly.

"Well at school" Malfoy started slowly, allowing his group of friends to catch up to them and allowing the mass of gryffindors to walk away. "We'll make your life hell." He pushed Sirius into the wall. "And you can't expect your parents to live in ignorance can you?"

A first year boy turned from the gryffindors back to Sirius and saw that Malfoy was holding Sirius against the wall and while Sirius was doing good at fighting him off other slytherins were standing ready to grab him if he got out of Malfoys grip. One of the slytherins punched Sirius in the stomach and Sirius put up an extra strong struggle and got free of Malfoy one of the other slytherins pushed him back into the wall and held him there for Malfoy to punch. The first year boy screamed out "Leave him alone!" and Malfoy grabbed his robes and lifted him off the ground.

"Great defense. You've got the tawniest little Gryffindor on your side." Malfoy said with a laugh and threw the boy down causing him to slide along the stone floor of the corridor. The boy stood up and stared back at the group, he looked at Sirius to silently tell him that he wouldn't give up that easy, but the look in Sirius's eyes told him that he couldn't help and begged him to run before he got hurt. He flashed Sirius a look that he hoped was more hopeful than scared and joined the rest of the gryffindors.

"Once again great defense!" said Malfoy sarcastically and punched Sirius in the stomach again.

"Welcome to Hell!" said another as he kicked Sirius in the shins. Sirius took a few blows before they threw him into a classroom and his back hit a desk hard and he fell to the ground, one of the slytherins grabbed his hair and lifted him to his feet with it saying "come on brave Gryffindor fight like a man" a few more people punched Sirius before he lashed out randomly and found someone's nose.

"A'tta boy Sirius, fight back." Sirius kicked out and got someone's leg, then he felt a strong blow on the side of his head causing him to have to stumble sideways to stay upright. He stumbled into a boy who shoved him back to the others and he almost fell to the ground when a chair connected with him pushing him backwards. He heard them all laughing but could no longer see them clearly. He kicked out again and missed entirely. Someone punched his head and then someone kicked him in the balls forcing him to fall to the ground. They all kicked him at once and when he tried to get up he was pushed back to the floor. At one point he bit someone's foot but they broke his nose with it. Sirius stopped trying to fight back and used his arms to protect himself. Malfoy kicked him in the shins and said "don't think we're through." Before leaving.

Sirius laid on the floor for a short time after they left allowing his breathing to calm, then pushed himself up trying to ignore the dizziness and pain he was feeling. He made it to the door before he collapsed. He shivered lying in the doorway before he used the wall to push himself up. He leaned against the wall as he walked in the direction he thought the gryffindors went, knowing that he could not find the common room by himself. He didn't have to walk far before he ran into the boy that tried to stand up for him.

"Thought you might need help finding the common room" the boy put Sirius's arm over his shoulder and helped him stand "I'm Remus, by the way."

"Thanks Remus. Are you in first year too?"

"Yea, but we shouldn't be friends or anything."

"Why not, I'm not like the other Blacks."

"I'm not really that nice."

"You're the nicest person I've met."

"You need to meet more people."

"You stuck up for me."

"And then ran away."

"You couldn't help but at least you tried."

"Anyone could have done that."

"But they didn't, and you did. And you're the one helping me now."

"Ok will you stop praising me if we're friends?"

"If you admit that you're nice."

"Fine I'm nice."

**A Howler**

The next morning Remus introduced Sirius to James and Peter, apparently he was very likeable even if he wasn't trying to be. They found an older student in the common room who told them how to find the hospital wing and went down together. After giving the nurse a list of what hurt allot that was much too long and getting fixed up and answering some of her what-on-earth-happened-questions they went to breakfast. As the slytherins walked past one asked, "find your common room traitor?"

"Just fine." Sirius replied happily making the slitherin glare.

"You're not off the hook that easy Sirius." Sirius stayed quiet while the other first year gryffindors gaped at the comment, Sirius knew it to be truer than even the slytherin that said it did.

When the mail arrived Sirius looked up and saw the red envelope he knew would be addressed to him. When it landed in front of him he cautiously opened it with his fork and it sprouted a fire before the screaming filled the halls.

"You Filthy Mudblood Loving Traitor. You Go Back To That Stupid Hat And Demand It Put You In Your Rightful Place, Or I Will. You're A Disgrace To Our Name. You Put Things Right Before You Get Home For Christmas. And You Will Be Home. No Arguments. Your Filthy Slime And You Don't Deserve To Be Given The Chance To Go To Hogwarts And Disgrace The Black Pride."

There was a moments silence in the hall while everyone stared at Sirius before the slytherins cracked up laughing.

Sirius ran from the hall the thought in his mind: 'Home For Christmas' Christmas is a while away right? I've got time to stay in this relative safety and then…Christmas is only a two week holiday….I can put up with it, just take it all for two weeks and then come back here right?

A group of slytherins followed him out of the hall and Remus and James and Peter followed them. They all met up in a smallish corridor. "Nearly even numbers but it wouldn't matter anyway, gryffindors always loose."

James pointed his wand at them but he didn't know any useful spells yet so sent sparks at them making them all laugh. One pushed a small boy with greasy black hair forward and he scrambled back towards the group when one said "go on Sev you know some great ones."

He waved his wand at James and James's head cut open and blood began to spill out. All the slytherins laughed and hi-fived and one rubbed Severus's hair and nearly got his hand bitten.

"Leave them alone." Sirius said.

"alright we only want you anyway" Sirius balled his hands and prepared as much as he could to get bashed and fight back for as long as he dared, he was prepared to fight alone but when Severus did what he did to James to him and pain exploded through his head Remus shouted "Leave Him Alone!"

The slytherins laughed and said "No way, he has to learn a lesson, and we're going to teach it."

More curses hit Sirius and a professor walked past, took in what was happening and smiled slightly. Remus called out "Professor please h-"

"No Remus" Sirius said which confused Remus, Sirius recognized the professor from a dinner his mother had held, he was no help.

"Stupid Gryffindor thinks he doesn't need help." Sirius punched one of the older ones in the gut and one of them grabbed his hair while the one he punched, punched his nose.

Professor McGonagall walked passed the group and asked "what's going on?" in a voice that made the boy drop Sirius. But Sirius seemed to be just as worried as the slytherins

"Nothing Miss"

"Somehow I seriously doubt that Sirius." The slytherins buggered off after McGonagall took five points off everyone there leaving the slytherins trailing. Then once she left Remus asked "why didn't you tell her?"

"She's a teacher as if she'd help me." Sirius said as though it was obvious. "And don't stick up for me again, I mean I appreciate it, but you don't have to get hurt because of me."

"We're not just going to let them beat the crap out of you." James said still holding his head.

"Why not, you wouldn't get hurt that way?" Sirius asked

"Because we're not arseholes."

**Home Time**

Sirius was sitting at the top of his bed occasionally banging the back of his head on the wall behind him when James opened the curtains "Sirius you've been doing that for hours now. Haven't you got enough brain damage yet?"

"No" Sirius said thinking 'how much do you need to no longer feel pain?'

"At least tell us what's wrong."

"I got to go home."

"So am I but I'm not splitting my head about it."

"But you're not in trouble with your parents for being you."

"come out of it, it'll be fine you'll get into trouble then have a shity Christmas dinner and hear a lot of bullshit then come right back here. You'll be alright."

"Sink into the real world and say that." Sirius replied once again banging his head against the wall.

On the train James and Peter tried to cheer him up again.

"Maybe you can come to my place after Christmas."

Sirius laughed imagining asking his parents to go to James's "as if, stay with a Gryffindor."

"You're a Gryffindor!"

"No for the next two weeks I'm just a filthy blood traitor. Maybe scum or a billion other bad things, begging to be punished"

"You'll be alright though wont you?" peter asked tentatively

" 'corse Pete I'm always alright." And those were the first words that worried James and made him wonder just what kind of punishment the Blacks used. After all Sirius had said the same thing after Malfoy threw him down one of the stairs at Hogwarts.

When they got to the station Sirius watched as James and Peter met their parents with welcoming hugs. Sirius was near James when his mum hugged him and he took a few steps back so that he wasn't intruding because he already felt very alien and unwanted and he didn't want to impose on them, however James's mum talked to Sirius "hi Sirius. Have a merry Christmas."

Sirius who hadn't got on very well with most of his teachers and had therefore had few kind words said to him by any adults was shocked and stared for a little too long before saying "you too Mrs. Potter. Bye James."

Once his friends had left Sirius opened his trunk and put on another cloak because it was cold and he thought that nobody cared about him enough to pick him up on time and he secretly hoped that no one would pick him up at all and that he could spend his Christmas at the train station. Sirius made himself comfortable, or as comfortable as a person could be sitting on a cold train station in the middle of winter, and watched as the rest of the students found their parents and left. The train left and Sirius was left on the platform with a teacher.

The teacher came over to Sirius and said "you must have been here for hours, are you sure your parents know that you're going home?"

"Yea they probably just forgot what time the train got here."

"I can't leave you here, would you like to come back to Hogwarts?"

"Yes, but if my parents contact the school will I be able to go home?"

"Naturally"

"Then I'll stay here, but you don't have to wait with me, you can go back if you like."

"Its school policy I can't."

"What could happen to me on a platform away from any other people?" Sirius thought 'I guess I could jump in front of a train.'

After a little more convincing Sirius got the teacher to believe that he'd be fine and the teacher left Sirius alone.

Sirius stayed sitting on the platform trying to convince himself that he would rather be at home than on the cold lonely platform, and failing. Eventually - trying not to get his hopes up and think that he might have been forgotten entirely - he began to fall asleep despite the cold. He woke up a few times whenever an extra cold wind blew and slowly drifted off to sleep each time. As he was starting to drift at around two o'clock in the morning he heard the footsteps of a woman in high heels approach him and desperately hoped it was the start of a nightmare and not his mother. His hopes were shattered when she slapped him across the face. "All you have to do is wait and you fall asleep. You're so pathetic, sleeping at a train station like a muggle hobo." Sirius felt like yelling at her that she had left him there until early morning but restrained himself because he had enough of a reason to fear the next two weeks without adding his mums temper. He didn't complain when she yanked him up and apparatede them home.

**A Beating**

Two in the morning was the wrong time for punishments so Sirius was sent to bed without food instead. He was uncomfortable in the house that he had spent the majority of his life in. He looked at the elf heads on the way up the stairs and his tired conscious thought the obvious 'I'm not safe here.' When he had left he was just an insolent child and that was bad enough but now he was a blood traitor who had to be set straight and re-taught the ways of the proud pureblood Blacks. He went to his room and spent a little time trying to light a fire when he finally got it, it flickered a little then went out completely. Sirius sighed and got into bed cold and scared but tired enough to fall asleep anyway.

The next morning he was awakened by his little brother shaking him and nearly attacked him before he heard him say "What did you do Siri? Mum and dad are real mad."

"I was me."

"A guaranteed stuff up right?"

"Yea. Can I sleep?"

"Sure if you want mum more mad. She wants you at breakfast now."

Sirius got up and got dressed into clean robes as fast as he could and then went down to breakfast. "Good morning mum, good morning dad"

His dad huffed and his mum wailed "how can you stand there like your worthy of even being near the rest of us, do you even know the shame you've brought on this family!"

Sirius stayed quiet not trusting his mouth not to shout the sarcastic responses running through his mind. He sat down at the table and ate the piece of toast that the house elf placed in front of him. "You will see us in my study at midday for your punishment." Said his father.

Sirius finished the toast and left without saying a word. He sat in his room and wondered just how scared he should be and what kind of parents would make a time and place to punish their son, but instead of upsetting him that thought lightened his mind. The fact that he could wonder that when it had been that way for his life reminded him how lucky he was to be going to Hogwarts. Half a year ago he thought that that was normal. His parents did it and about half the other parents he had met had done it. It was normal and he now appreciated that he knew otherwise. The vast majority of people were not normal, and how he wanted to be back with the weirdo's. He stayed in his room and pondered what his punishment would be and how lucky he was to have a sanctuary even if he couldn't get back to it for two weeks.

A little before midday he went down to his fathers study making himself look as presentable as he could knowing that it wouldn't make a difference this time. He stalled for as long as he dared but he didn't dare be late and get into any more trouble than he was in so far.

He opened the door and saw his mother and father sitting behind his desk and approached it ignoring the thoughts in his mind telling him to run. He stood next to the chair a million thoughts of defiance flashed through his mind but all he was willing to allow through were the flashes of desire that passed over his eyes perfectly inline with his equally visible fear.

"Sit" his mother commanded as though ordering a dog. Sirius glanced in the chair and knew that it wouldn't do him good to allow himself to get below eyelevel of his parents but it would only be his self esteem damaged if however he disobeyed them it would be more. So he sat in the chair and clamps fastened themselves around his wrists and ankles. Sirius felt his panic rising and tried to cool down knowing that panic couldn't help him.

"You have become a blood traitor, we gave you half a year to redeem yourself but you have done nothing. You are a disgrace to this family and its values." His mother slapped his face and he tried to raise his arms, his natural fight-back-instincts that had got him into so much trouble before, kicking in, only when he moved them the manacles sent jolts of pain up his arms and legs.

"I didn't get to choose where I was put." Sirius replied before he thought twice about it.

"No you were never one of us were you." And she cursed him causing his skin to burn and Sirius to jerk around and get hurt from the manacles holding him to the chair. "Your swine not worthy of the Black name! Look at me when I'm talking to you." She said pulling his hair so that his face would face her standing behind him.

"You must learn Sirius, that Blacks are proud and don't associate with filth. Crusio!"

Sirius began to shake as pain filled him. He jerked around in the chair and when his father removed the curse he could feel the pain left in his limbs from the chair for a second before his father made the chair disappear and watched Sirius fall in a heap on the ground. Sirius climbed to his feet and although it hurt to do so he felt he had to, it was the only act of defiance he could manage. Kind of the 'you got me but I'm alive and you can't stop me. I made it this far and I'll keep going weather you care or not.'

"crucio!" came the curse again and he wished his father could just kill him but he didn't and he was glad for it afterwards but he managed to stand up again, slowly but he got there.

Then his father lifted the curse and hit him with one that opened his forehead. Blood poured out and massive amounts of pain blocked everything else from Sirius's mind. Sirius clenched his hand into a fist to stop himself grabbing his head, it was all he could do to not give in to his parents, he thought that if he gave in he would have lost the only thing he still had that was all his – his free will and his ability to choose by his own means, not to trust people just because they declared themselves trustworthy, not to take things as right or wrong or truth just because someone said so. Sirius's father waved his wand stopping the blood from gushing out of him but leaving the pain. His father then started the fight; once he had pinned Sirius first. He magically held him to the floor and then beat him breaking several bones and causing severe bruising. After kicking his son repetitively he lifted the curse holding him in place and picked him off the ground and threw him into the wall. Sirius fell to a heap on the floor and then tried to stand up but his leg was fractured and as soon as he put weight on it, it broke causing him to shriek again and fall to the floor. "Going to stand and fight? Do you actually think you can beat me?" Sirius's father asked.

"You didn't give me much of a chance to begin with!" Sirius replied hotly.

His father walked to where he laid and pulled Sirius up by his arm unhinging his shoulder as he tossed him roughly to another spot of floor. He walked to Sirius slowly, delaying the coming pain and giving Sirius enough time to establish a fear of it. He stood over Sirius and kicked his side, he then grabbed his hair and lifted him to his feet. "Look at me" commanded his father. And Sirius looked at his face, Sirius was tall for his age but both his parents had that height so the eleven year old still had to tilt his head back a fair bit and take in his fathers' height. "it wouldn't have made a difference!" his father let go of Sirius and Sirius tried to hold himself up but failed and fell to a heap on the ground. He laid there for a second waiting for the blows to fall knowing that he could no longer support his own weight properly. "That is all for now. You may go." Sirius got to his feet putting all his weight on his slightly better leg and tried to limp out knowing that it was an odd chance and he had to take advantage of it. He made it four short limped steps toward the door before he collapsed. His father picked him up and Sirius instantly panicked and squirmed trying to get away. His father did not drop him but threw him to the floor, kicked his shin and then picked him up again. He carried him down to Sirius's bedroom and threw him inside and locked the door. Sirius laid on the floor too sore to move and hoped for hours that he could just faint before he did.

**Merry Christmas **

Sirius stayed in his bedroom trying to get between his door to eat the food left there and his bed to sleep as comfortably as possible with the smallest amount of movement possible so that he didn't move the broken bones around. He stayed like that until a couple of days before Christmas when his father came into his room. To find Sirius lying on his bed holding onto his leg with both hands.

"Get up." Sirius slowly climbed to his feet putting all his weight on his good leg. And stared his father in the eyes daring him to realize the pain he had caused his own son but that didn't seem to bother him. He kicked Sirius's sore leg causing Sirius to fall to the ground crying. "Come down to breakfast boy you need some real food before our Christmas feast."

Sirius managed to calm down and make it to his feat he hobbled out of his room and used the railing of the stairs to support his weight so that he could get down the stairs with one leg.

He got to the dining room and almost fell on his way between the wall and the table.

His mother scoffed and said "true blacks don't limp, true blacks stand tall." Sirius sat at the table and held in a wince as his heavier than usual breathing caused his ribs to sting. The house elf placed a bowl of scrambled eggs in front of Sirius. The smell seemed to make Sirius relax a little as all he had eaten in the last few days were cold toast crusts and the cold mashed potatoes that Regulas didn't want to eat and he didn't get much of either of them. The food tasted delicious but after Sirius had scoffed down a few mouthfuls he began to feel full even though he normally ate much more, he continued eating but much slower.

"You're not just going to leave it there like an ungrateful slob are you? It was cooked for you when you deserve to be locked away and starved kept alive on rabid cockroaches, you wouldn't even be getting this food if it wasn't to get you to adjust so you eat a healthy proportion at our feast."

Sirius didn't say anything he just continued to eat slowly glad that he could. Once he had finished all the eggs his father said casually as though he wasn't covered in blood and bruises and hadn't dripped any blood in his food and hadn't squeezed his eyes shut in pain every time he swallowed "why don't you get yourself cleaned up and make sure your good robes still fit you."

Sirius nodded slightly and stood up to leave, he almost fell when he stood on his worse leg and even though he caught himself before he hit the floor he couldn't stop a small scream.

"Fucking crybaby" his father hissed watching him hop to the stairs. Sirius held onto the banister and pushed himself up so that he could hop onto the next step it took him five minutes to get halfway up the first flight and his father walked past him giving him a glare but no help. Once he made it to the top of the first flight he leaned on the wall and hobbled to the bathroom. He glanced in the mirror and realized how long it had been since he had had a shower and changed he took off his robes ripping off the dried blood that caused them to cling to him. He noticed that there were several small irregular dents in his chest and understood that they must be broken ribs and that was why it hurt to breathe too deeply. He wondered if they would be dangerous and hoped that one might puncture his lungs and let him die sooner.

He climbed into the shower and started to try to get rid of the smell of old dried blood that was all over him but found that it hurt to get soap almost anywhere on his body and that he could not put any kind of pressure no matter how small on his bad leg or some parts of his chest and although he had popped his shoulder back in, it still hurt to move it to certain positions. Once he was finished he dressed in his robes that he now realized were covered in blood and began to make his way slowly up the next flight of stairs. After about three minutes of disjointed hopping Regulas appeared at the top of the flight and asked "need a little help Siri?"

"Yea thanks Reg" Sirius replied happy that his brother cared.

He put his hand around Sirius's waist and tried to help lift his weight only Sirius yelped and instinct backed away a little.

"Sorry Siri, I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know, you just touched a saw rib just be careful ok?"

"Yea" they made it up the stairs and into Sirius's room where Sirius sat on the bed and Regulas just stood around looking uncomfortable.

"Thanks Reg I owe you one."

"Um… Sirius are you ok." Sirius remained silent giving his brother a look that clearly said 'what the hell? Do I look ok?' "I mean you not going to die or nothing are you?"

Sirius smiled slightly "don't worry Reg, I'm not going to die yet, mum and dad aren't aloud to kill me."

"What really? Who stops them?"

"There's a law for it. It says you're not aloud to hurt your kids too bad."

"They already hurt you pretty bad and if they break that law maybe …"

"nah, they can break that one because grownups have this thing where you have to prove that someone did it before they get busted for it and no-one can prove that they hurt me, but if they kill me anyone can prove it."

"Oh, well I'm happy you're alive."

"Thanks Reg" Regulas left Sirius's room feeling more comfortable with his brothers state. He could tell that he was really hurt but he now knew that he would get better. And despite the confrontation and questions about death and the forth bringing that he couldn't get it as soon as he felt like at the moment Sirius was happy in the knowledge that his little brother liked him alive, he wasn't sure about his parents and thought that they might only keep him alive so that they didn't get busted for abuse or neglect or whatever, but it was nice to know that someone in the house actually wanted him alive.

Sirius changed out of his blood soaked robes and into his formal robes. He had grown a little while he was at Hogwarts but they were still a perfect fit. He kept them on until his dad walked past his room because he knew that he would have to show one of his parents and he didn't want to go down the stairs and be told to go back up because he knew it would take 30 minutes and his leg would hurt the whole time. "Dad they fit see." Sirius said standing on his good leg just inside his door so that his father could see without him having to move.

"Took you long enough. Get changed and come down to lunch in fifteen minutes."

Sirius changed into ordinary robes wincing slightly as he pulled them on then started for lunch. He hoped down the stairs using the banister to support him again and managed to half hop to the table. He was given a ham and pineapple roll and some milk, he still felt full from the breakfast, which although it wasn't much it had felt like a feast to his small stomach. He managed to eat the roll and drank the milk easily. His parents and brother had already left the room before he had finished so Sirius went to the lounge room afterwards because it was only one floor above the informal dining room which was close to the kitchen. He sat in the chair closest to the door and let his mind go he thought about the fact that the Christmas feast was being held at the Black home and the way he was sure that his parents took it as an opportunity to regain the respect of the purebloods that thought badly of the Blacks because of him getting into Gryffindor. He thought about the way he had been forced to interact with the other 'kids' at every family function and weather or not they would want to interact with him this time and even if their parents would allow them to interact with him. He thought of possible hiding places and optimum positions for snowball fights. He wondered if any grownups would stop anyone from hurting him. And he even wondered what kind of food would be served.

At Dinner Sirius's mum explained their rules for the feast; "Be on your best behavior, be polite to all the kids and if an adult wants anything you give it to them. Right Sirius." Sirius nodded as he knew he was expected to. "And Sirius you have to at least pretend to agree with our ideals, getting into Gryffindor was an unfortunate accident and you would change if you were given the chance. Your loyalties lie with your family first and foremost and if I hear anything about those blood-traitor swine you normally call friends you will be serving the most severe punishment of your life." Sirius mentally noted that but made no indication to show it because he was too annoyed at his mother insulting them.

The morning of the feast Sirius's father healed him and Sirius was glad to be able to look and move as if he had never been injured, by lunch Sirius had his normal apatite back which pleased his mother as her favorite sister and her kids had arrived. Sirius and Regulas opened the door and greeted their cousins and aunty politely. Their cousins greeted them and their aunty greeted Regulas and talked to Sirius's mother "You kept the traitor that got into Gryffindor? I would have thrown him onto the streets."

"I did consider it but he has informed us that it was an accident and that he still believes in our family values." His mother said.

"Is that so?" his aunty asked Sirius skeptically.

"of-cores it is!" Sirius said fairly convincingly remembering his mother's threat.

After lunch the kids had a snowball fight while they waited for the others to arrive, siri and doora verses the rest. They positioned themselves in a tree and while they were making snowballs and waiting for the others to pass near their tree Doora asked siri "hey siri you know what you said in the hall when we got here, you were lying weren't you?"

"Your not like the rest of them are you?"

"Evil prejadus backstabbing bastards? No" 'Doora said

"I was lying. But don't tell anyone."

"no-dar. I knew because if you wanted to get into slytherin you could have asked the hat when it suggested Gryffindor, that's what I did because I didn't want my parents to punish me and hate me and I sort of wanted to make them proud. But I'm over that. How have your parents treated you?"

"alright considering …" siri lied

"Its great that your in Gryffindor though, it means I can trust you, ive been dyihng to tell someone but I cant let them know so you've got to promise not to tell anyone even your friends. ok?"

"yea sure."

"I've met this great guy he's kind and handsome and I'm going out with him, he's the best boyfriend ever."

"they aren't against boyfriends, why cant I tell anyone?"

"he's muggleborn."

"is it serious between you." siri asked

"its getting that way." Doora replied

"then you wont be able to keep it secret for long."

"I know but I don't want to be living at home when the shit hits."

Just as door finished saying that a bunch of snowballs hit Sirius hard and caught him off guard causing him to fall from the tree. Reg Trix and Cissa ran over and covered him in snow Trix forced some up his nose causing him to almost choke on it. Doora showered them all with the snow that was stuck in the tree and pelted them with their collection of snowballs both sides couldn't be bothered making more snowballs so they tackled each other into the snow and tried to rub them into it.


	2. 2draco rapes snape

S.F.S****

Draco Rapes Severus

By: weat-bix 

Rating: whatever the highest rating you know is.

**Warning:** profanities, violence, relatively detailed rape, problems with laws, thoughts of Snape ect… and even more of my different way of thinking.

Disclaimer: J.K.Rowling owns most characters, muggles. & sorta their situations. I own a weird enough mind to think of the stuff I wrote like this

**SUMMARY: **could a student rape a teacher. Draco Snape I had this idea a while ago when I saw a kid my age coming onto a old guy who wasn't into him. Personally I thought it was gross but I got the gist of it anyway and thought this up. But I didn't write it until after I read a small newspaper article about a 13 year old in England that pleaded guilty of raping his teacher. One thing tough is that if its consensual than legally it's the older person who raped the younger one.

Category: horror/angst

Spoilers: Harry Potter books

A/N: don't read this if you're looking for anything nice. My mind came up with this and…– I don't need a physiatrist – one of my yr 9 teachers got me to see the school counselor but she couldn't figger out what was wrong with me. Do you know how hard it is writing in present tense?

_Who would knock at my personal quarters after dinner?_ I open the door and see Draco Malfoy. _My favorite student, sure he needs to see the ways of the world as he sees himself as a sadist but that's ok. I myself thought I was a sadist before I became a death eater that was why I joined I thought I would enjoy it. But I found out that it was too much they took things too far. _"What is it Draco?"

"I thought I'd come to see you professor!" _no shit Draco why else would you be here._ He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. _So just assume your welcome! I hate having people in here, it just makes me uncomfortable._ "I really like you." He says

"What are you getting at Draco?" I ask knowing fully and hoping he doesn't.

"I like you and thought we could – you know – do something about it. And here would be a good place." He says motioning to the bed. _Are you insane?_

"You're a student and I'm a teacher, I have boundaries Draco."

"No-one would have to know."

"That doesn't change the situation."

"Just because you teach me, I could quit school." _Yea and have your father kill you._

"Most people your age…" _wouldn't want to. Just got hormones._

"Are you implying that I'm just a kid! So what if you were born first." _Just a kid sure you're a strong kid but I'm a foot taller than you and I could still throw you across a classroom if I wanted._

I walk up to him so that he can see my full height and obviously has to look up at me.

"Who's side are you on? The dark lords or Dumbledore's" _a loaded question. Without a right answer I can't say I'm not a death eater but I'm at Hogwarts and the dark lord is in hiding._

"Dumbledore." I say and put on a look as if to say I'm lying. _One good thing about being almost emotionless is faking emotions._

"Then I'll tell my father and you'll be busted big time."

"What are you stupid, we're at Hogwarts I can't say I'm on the Dark side here."

He smiles slowly "your going to do what I want or else I'll tell Dumbledore that you're a death eater and I'll also tell my father you're a traitor then you wont be able to run to my dad for safety and you wont be able to run to Dumbledore either, you'll be stuffed." _Dumbledore would help me but I need Lucius on my side._

"What do you want?" I ask fearing the answer and hating the manipulation of a student. I banish these emotions knowing they are dangerous but it is harder than usual.

He places a locking and silencing charm on the door "a good fuck no-dar." He says with a laugh. _If I'm prepared to suffer at the dark lords feet then I can play whore for a kid right?_

He takes off his clothes and sits on my bed and gives me a significant look. I take off my clothes feeling so used. _God he can already get what he wants from me with a look._

He kisses me roughly and pushes me onto my bed I almost push his smaller exposed body off me but I remind myself of the stakes and make my body go limp. He shoves his tong in my mouth and I leave mine where it was, he tastes like pudding in a shitty kid like way.

I shut my eyes and fight to remain limp instead of tightening in resistance. I can't see him but I can feel his bare legs on mine and his torso pressed against me I stop a shiver. _No-one wants to fuck something that's totally non-responsive right?_

He flips me over and I make sure I don't help him but I don't stop him either I just let him ruin my body. He cups a hand on my bare ass before plunging in and my effort to remain limp is ruined, I instantly tighten at the mass pain I knew was coming, making it much more acute. I make a scream that only he can hear. _I could fight him off easily, he's just a kid, but he knows his blackmail._

He abuses me for too long. _Any time at all is too long. I don't deserve this much do I?_

When he finally withdraws and doesn't reenter he uses my bathroom to get cleaned up and wash my blood off him. He has a shower and I stay curled on my side on my bed with blood poring out of my ass, trying to ignore the pain.

Draco walks out of my bathroom fully dressed and looking as smug as always. "If you tell anyone about this –"

"You'll tell Dumbledore and your daddy that I'm a traitor?"

"Even better I'll say that I suggested it and you agreed and then legally, you just raped me!"

He notices that I haven't moved, it takes him a few seconds to realize why, then he laughs softly and throws my clothes at me. He takes off the charms and leaves saying "see you later Sevie." _Don't call me that._

Latter that night when I think I am capable of crawling far enough to get my wand without feinting I slid off my bed and crawl to it. I fix myself up and go to my bathroom, I shiver at the thought. _Draco used this after he … raped me…_I look at myself in the mirror. _Wow I got a black eye. _I fix it with my wand. _Physical injury is undoable but …_I stare into my eyes their as blank as always, hollow like, _that's nice no-one will be able to see a difference there._ I clean my bathroom magically _as close to good as it can get now. _Then I have a warm shower somehow more aware that I'm not wearing anything than I normally am even though there is nobody around. I let the water run over me and I scrub at my skin with my soap._ I know what I'm doing and I know it doesn't help but I feel like I need it anyway. _I think back on what Draco said; _"see you later sevie." Oh fuck he can have me any time he wants now. His blackmail doesn't expire._ I slide down the shower wall and sit in the water. Feelings coming over me I know the stakes and I have to keep my emotions in check, to talk with powerful death eaters but these ones are harder to banish than normal ones or old ones. I look into my eyes in the mirror again, they still appear to be hollow but an experienced person might notice if they bother to look. I vanish my blood from my floor and my bed, then I change my bed _anything different. _And I try to get to sleep on my couch.

After I finished teaching the first years _bloody slow and stupid can't manage the easy boring potions._ It's time to teach Draco's class _I'd normally play with potters head but I don't know how I'm going to be able to deal with teaching Draco now. What if he does something? Ok if I just act the way I normally do I should be alright. No-one will notice that I'm afraid of a student. _The class walks in and I try to act as always. _Got to favor Draco. _"Potion is on the board." I say and wave my wand at it.

"But sir?"

"What Granger?" _I didn't fail you on this yet give me a chance to._

"That's a very complicated potion sir." I turn to look at the board _shit potion to cure cuts and bruises I must have made too many of these not wanting to go to the hospital wing, I'm better at potions than spells. At least I didn't name it. Granger will know but no-one else will. _

"Don't think your up to it Granger?" _I never make mistakes and I have to act normal, god what a stuff up._

Class followed as expected with some dangerous sounding potions explosions. I notice Draco's explode _it is an advanced potion _and smirk inwardly ignoring it externally _I cant fail him, I don't._ I reach Grangers desk the only one that's the right colour _I could use some of that _it changes in front of my eyes and it's the first class that I rather it hadn't "should be grey." I say and Granger looks at it questioningly then stares at Draco _she knows and this time I'd rather she said it but she knows not to by now._ I walk to Draco's _or what was _Granger "this is what it should look like everyone!" Draco gives me a look and I pretend not to notice but walk away anyway I see Potter trying to concentrate over a bubbly green solution his glasses nearly slipping off his nose and walk over to taunt the prick _better than Draco now kid._ His potion melts the bottom of his caldron and seeks onto the floor beneath him it melts part of his shoes before he jumps onto the chair and it begins to melt that Potter stays on the melting chair for about a minute before I vanish the potion and he falls off the odd angled chair to the ground. "Class dismissed."

The class walks out grumbling _I think I was me_ but Draco stays behind for a minute "see you tonight!" I stay composed until he is out of the door then I let my head fall to the table _how long will he be like this, how long will he last._

I hear a knock at my door and flinch _dam it I know no-one can see me but I can't get used to being scared like this_. _I'm not here please think I'm not here. _"I know you're in there" _what else can I do. I can't tell anyone or I'll be charged with pedophilia and rape. I can't stand up against a kid because I can't let the death eaters think I'm a traitor and I don't think I could stand myself if I knowingly let a kid do that to me if I allow myself to be so vulnerable._

I grab a handful of flu powder and throw it in my fire. _Where can I run to? Who would help me? Who could I fool? _"alohamora"

"McGonagall's Quarters." I step into the fire and whisk into an office to calmly and smoothly land in front of McGonagall._ You can't notice any difference in me._

"What is it Severus? Why couldn't it wait until morning?" _Why am I here, I'm not running away from a kid who fucked me._

"I was trying to develop a new potion, and I got an unexpected result. My Quarters are filled with a gas that I would rather stay away from to be safe until I can be sure to neutralize it." _Please believe it._

"Why come here? Why not seek Dumbledore's help."_ Because he might be experienced enough to see the fear and confusion in my eyes if he looks for it and I don't want to give him a reason to look._

"This potion, its, well, I'd like to surprise him with it, I might not even be able to complete it and I don't want to get his hopes up."

"You seem nervous." _I'm not, please I'm the same as always no fresh memories and no reminders of others, I'm fine I'm not a rapist and I'm not a victim._

"I don't like it when I stuff up potions."

"How long would you need to stay here?" _until Draco stops? _

"I can't say for sure, it could be a few days or a month, I need some time to figger out what I did and then to fix it." _Good that can get me an immeasurable amount of time. Please let me stay._

"You should inform someone who can help with potions." _Bloody moral helpers think they are so good think every situation has a solution._

"I'd rather not." _If I had done that I would have said the same thing._

"Fine but you're sleeping on the couch." _Like I'd want to sleep anywhere else._

"Thanks Minerva."

I wake up several times from nightmares glad that I didn't scream only to remember the things that supposedly happened in them and even to baud on the possibility of them actually happening. _I wish I couldn't remember my nightmares. _I try to banish the thoughts but they return as soon as I get near to sleep.

I hear Minerva's footsteps enter the room and quickly try to unfold myself realizing that I had slept in a very defensive position and hoping that she hadn't noticed it. As I straighten my legs and pull out my arms I fall off her small couch.

She laughs softly and says "Good Morning." In a 'every-morning-a-great-new-day-to-love-all-day-through' voice.

I grunt a half pronounced "Gmornin" and get up rubbing the pins and needles out of my arm. I brush my teeth and splash cold water on my face _I really don't want a shower and I didn't bring a change of clothes. _Then I walk back out to Minerva knowing that it's obvious that I didn't get a good nights sleep but that happens every so often anyway.

"I guess you're not a morning person" Minerva says brightly.

"Because I'm really a any other time of the day person."_ A joke? At least it was a sarcastic one so no-one is suspicious and it puts a nice light mood on things._

Minerva laughed a little "shall we go to breakfast, I can't wait to tell everyone who I got in my room." I flinch internally _I know that was a joke there everywhere in this place._

"I'm – a little embarrassed about that potion and all, so if it's alright, could you…?"

"Yes, I won't tell anyone. You know I was only kidding right?" _of corse, if you wanted some action you would have took it because if a student can do that to me what could someone who taught me when I was a student do._

"of-corse" _that didn't sound too forced did it?_

I sit at the teachers table overlooking all the students and feel a slight surge in power rush through me almost enough to make me feel like I am in control of my life, almost. I watch as some of my young slytherins bicker to get the seat next to a young good looking girl. I laugh mentally and admire her character. It is obvious from a single glance in the young girls' eyes that she is given a large amount of power through their desire, she is very young and they haven't abused her yet. At this point in her life her looks have elevated her and helped her. I look at the young men and know that if she doesn't become very good at curses she will grow to hate the features that make them go mad and to wish to never be desired again even if it means never to be loved. It is only a matter of time before those young boys that fight over her and grant her every wish to get her approval will be governed by their desire for her, not just her good will but her body and I have no doubt that unless that girl is very talented at defence they will take it.

Just as I feel my heart sinking for the future of a girl who thinks her-self lucky to be born beautiful and I start to look around the rest of the school I feel a large strong hand grip my shoulder. I hold back a shudder but allow my muscles to tighten. _I always do._ I look around to see Hagrid. Normally I would relax once I saw him but my remnants of nightmares show me a much scarier image: Hagrid standing by the bed I had as a student here totally naked_ and he's massive _glaring down at me, demanding that I take my clothes off and allow him in. _something that I have never seen in my life but is terrifyingly realistic anyway. _

"Had a bad nights sleep?" he asks in his usual morning voice.

"Just old bad dreams." I say as though it was nothing.

He nods and takes his seat. I stare back at the children and see Draco walk in with Gregory and Vincent, he's looking a little frustrated but they don't seem to have noticed. He glances my way and gives me an instant death stare before looking away. I finish my breakfast glad that I don't have to teach his class today and dreading the time that will come when I will.

I walk to the dungeons glad of the crowds that seem to part in my presence much too aware that Draco has lost his buds and is following me. I arrive at my class and begin my lesson letting the class in and leaving Draco out. It's a seventh year class and because of the high standards needed to get into my class I don't need to be entirely attentive to the class. _Which is defendant good because I can't seem to go five seconds without glancing at the door. _Draco is skipping class and standing outside the door for the whole lesson glaring at me. I notice one of the students glance towards the door knowing that he can't see out of it but also knowing that he will know who is out there when he leaves. _I can't invite him in and get him to piss off, because I'm too scared. What if he says something in front of everyone? What if he gets me back for it?_

The class leave and I follow too close behind so that I don't get left alone with Draco. _Please don't notice that I'm not acting like I normally do. It's better to take this risk than my other option. _

I make my way through the crowded corridors to the teachers common I sit down inside and glance at the door where Draco is standing. He mouths 'I'll get you later' and leaves to go to his next class. I try to relax a little noticing how stiffly I'm holding myself, but I can't seem to do it. I stare at the empty fireplace trying to think of ways to get around what's going on a way to get rid of Draco for longer. _I could put a charm on my door so that it keeps him out and only see him in classes._

I wake up from the closest thing I've had to good sleep since Draco entered my dorm when Minerva enters the common and sits down near me.

"Getting better sleep on the chair than on my couch?" I look around relieved that no-one else is in here to hear that.

"Slightly. I was wondering if it would be alright if I could get some of my things quickly and leave them in your dorm." _So that I can change out of these clothes sometime._

"How can you get them from your dorm?"

"All I have to do is not breathe in or stay in there for over half an hour in any given three days."

"And you're sure about that?"

"No."

"You're welcome to have some things."

"Thanks."

"Do you know how weird that sounds coming from you?" _oh great now my gratitude is a guide to tell you how wrong I am. _I shrug my shoulders and leave for my dorm.

I get inside and pull out my old suitcase I place my notes for class and some notes of interest I've been working on with a quill and ink at the bottom I lay two robes on top _if I wash right I can make that work _and four pairs of underwear _always good to have spares _I throw in some spare change out of habit and glance around _what_ _else I might need to stay out of here, what might I want?_ I settle for grabbing a few bottles of healing potion and putting charms on them so that no-one will know they are there. _How to pack my life in five minutes._ I throw in a knife half out of habit and half out of something else. I have a shower and change, spill a harmless potion to create a long lasting harmless fog. And leave for Minerva's room. Once I get there I slide my suitcase under the couch _can't even tell its there unless you look for it. _

I walk back up to the staff common and Minerva asks "come back for a nice sleep?"

"Yes" I say blandly. _I haven't but I could use one. _I sit back down in the armchair and feel my mind relax more than I thought it would.

I start towards the dungeons but before I get there I notice that I'm alone in a corridor with Draco _oh no, not again, not here, not now, not ever._ He comes up to me and angrily says "Where were you last night."

"I have to go, I have a class to teach." He pushes me hard and I take a step back _he is strong _but basically hold my ground _I have to show that I'm not intimidated by him _he grumbles and pulls me behind a painting into a secret corridor.

"Don't bullshit me!" he hisses and then kisses me. I stand tall but cower inside. _He doesn't care, he isn't trying to intimidate me, and he couldn't give a shit how I feel he just wants me to be his._

"I'm expected in class." I say, all emotion leaving my voice as my mind is filled with it.

"Fine but I'll see you outside our common room after dinner! And if your not there Dumbledore and my father will be hearing about it."

I nod seeling my own suffering and head to my class determined not to be late and set anyone's alarm off.

I concentrate on what I'm putting on the board for the fifth years and walk around the room its Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw so I am able to insult enough people without concentration and avoid explosions or major stuff ups. I notice a blond hufflepuff that looks quite simular to Draco _and Lucius _and wonder _why haven't I noticed that before._ I walk around to his potion and notice that it's the perfect colour but is bubblier than it ought to be. "That's too bubbly, you've got the heat too high, use less heat and use it for longer, it's not a race unless you want to get killed. You've been in my class for five years have you learnt nothing?"

He looks at me and I can see that I have scared him but instead of hating him for fearing me when I am not a psychopath, like I normally do, I feel a kind of dull satisfaction and week triumph.

I walk past one that is bright orange and say "Purple." _He must be a friend of the Malfoy look alike with a glare like that._

They leave and its time to teach the second year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. I have a second to dwell on an unwanted fact. _I'm not a hero or a brave man I just have no other choice but to face my fears, if I had a choice I wouldn't do it. _Then I allow the class in. I teach a simular class to the last one with a few pops and bubbles but nothing remotely dangerous because I gave them a potion I knew they were capable of so that I could drift unnoticed. The lesson ends and I feel like I've unknowingly improved some of their self esteems as I hear one of them announce "I got that one, did you see it? Perfect potion."

I almost growl at her confidence but I notice that there is one hufflepuff left. He approaches my desk slowly and I recognise the hesitation in his steps. _He's a perceptive little bugger I just hope he hasn't noticed me for what I am while I'm vulnerable._

"Sir…I was um …er…sir…are you…um"

"What is it Mark?" I notice the way he is staring at the ground and shuffling his feet.

"Sir…er…are you alright sir?" _oh fuck, a student can notice!_

"I'm fine!" I yell, instantly making it obvious that I'm not. He flinches and takes a step back and I realise that I scared him, I hate it when people are scared of me. And I've tipped him off too well. "Sorry Mark. I am alright." He gives me a sceptical but cautious look and I know that he is too good for that to work so I continue "I just didn't get much sleep the last couple of nights and the sleep I did get wasn't too good. You know the kind of effect that can have on people."

He gives a bit of a smile that tells me he knows all about that and nods a little. "Hope it doesn't last too long, see you next lesson."

"Buy Mark." _glad that worked on him but, he's a kid and what about Dumbledore, I can't just avoid him._

I sit at the table not wanting to eat but not wanting to finish either. I accidentally catch Draco's eye and take in the glare he is giving me, I feel a shudder run down my insides but make sure I don't show any exterior signs. _I hate this dinner and this waiting but I would do almost anything to have it never end. _I stay longer than I normally would and notice that there are only three other teachers left and only about seventeen students left. _It would be suspicious if I stayed any longer and I can't let anyone know._

I walk to the slytherin common room as slowly as I dare, when I get to the entrance Draco exits and says "Took you long enough, come on."

He practically drags me into the common room and past all the slytherins I tried to look composed whilst practically running past the kids from my house. _Oh God this is all too familiar, I can't do this again._ We reach his dorm and he orders the others out. Gregory and Vincent leave with out a word but Blaize asks "what teachers pet Draco needs a private word with our head of house so I have to leave my dorm I don't think so!"

_That's it Blaize! stop this shit and let me go._ "Fuck off Blaize!"

"I don't think so I have just as much right to use this room as you do." _Yea that's the way stick up for yourself, wish I could do that too. _

"Tell him he has to piss of already." Draco declares of me and I could see that threat in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Blaize but I can't allow you to stay, I need Draco in here alone." _I hate me._

Blaize grumbles and grabs a book and leaves the room. I look around trying not to think about what is happening. _my old dorm. This god dam old torture dorm._

He kisses me and I fight back the erg to fight him. _How can I just let him do this to me?_

He pushes me down and my back hits the wall, I'm half sitting on the ground, I stare up at him. I see his blond hair in front of that green canvas and something clicks inside me. _Not again. I don't want to re-live this. Not again._

I curl my legs to my chest and hold my arms around them I lean my forehead on my knees and fight back tears. "Please, don't do this again, please just leave me alone."

He kicks my shin but I don't dare move "wimp."

"Please leave me alone, please don't do this Lucius."

"I am not my father! I am nothing like my father!" I looked up into Lucius's eyes, the ones that had stared down upon mine with desire for my younger teen years and shivered.

"I am not him!" I know it is Draco but at this moment they are so simular that it doesn't matter which it is.

"You're more alike than you think!" I say with a large amount of malice in my voice. It's a voice I had dreamed of using against Lucius.

"He didn't …" Draco says realizing that he did.

"Not to a teacher, but the idea was the same." I counter.

"To you?" _almost fearful there don't get scared of yourself bastard._

"No" I lie. I can almost see the way the older students had looked at me, _mounds of fear but not of me but of what had already happened to me. I don't want anyone to look at me anything like that again._

"Then I'm nothing like him!" he kisses me roughly again. He pulles my head away from the wall and casts a silencing and locking charm on the dorm. He slams my head against the bed and says "you ever do anything to stop this occurring again and I'll get my dad onto you." _Not literally, please not literally. _

"I could ge- ahhh- get him onto you." _If I dared risk that._

"But he'd trust me more." I crawl towards the wall keeping my ass on the ground as Draco magically strips us both. He presses his body against mine and I pull my arm in front of me. He punches my gut "let me in before I tie you to the bed!" I shiver and go limp hoping it ends soon. "Some foreplay this time?" I don't reply. He stands up and positiones himself in front of my mouth. I don't move. "Open up." I open my mouth obediently and he slides himself into it. He may only be a boy and not be fully grown but it still seems too big for my mouth. He pulls himself out and I move my toung around trying to ignore that taste but before I can do more than that he brought his knee up under my chin and I bight my toung and bang the back of my head against the wall "Do it properly." He puts himself back in my mouth and I use my toung to prick the right places until he came. I spit some of it back out and see that it was a pinkish colour from the blood in my mouth. "Swallow it dam it." Draco holds my mouth shut and I have no choice but to swallow the liquid that is still in my mouth. "You give the worst blow jobs ever!" I nod. _It's not like I want to be renowned for being good at it anyway. _"But don't worry, your tight little ass makes up for that." I shiver again and he grabs onto my hair and jerks me to my knees. He bends me over the bed so that my chest is on a bed and my knees are on the floor. He thrusts into me and I can't help but scream, he pumps into me and I feel like my ass is on fire while my pelvis is roughly pushed against the edge of the bed. I can no longer feel my ass it is num and I know it is badly damaged but I can feel my balls get squashed against the wood of the bed before they fall back down and the cut that the bed has made gets deeper. When Draco is finally satisfied and lets me fall to the ground I wish that I had done something. I shiver and the involuntary movement causes the pain in my ass to return with a stunning force. The room goes blurry and I can only think of how much it hurts I try to slither away from the blond figger that is leaning over me. I crawl under the bed but it manages to pull me out. I realise that I'm crying and blindly struggling to get away.

He points his wand at me and I flinch but I find that I am instantly presentable looking. "Stand up." I shake my head.

"Stand" he says again more demandingly. And I rise to my feat and whimper at the pain it causes me. "I s'pose you can walk through the common room like that you fucking petophile!" I wince and straighten myself up. _I look very composed but inside I feel like shit._

Draco cleaned himself up and I look down on him my body filling with hate. _He might only be a kid but I so want to see his brains splatter now. _

I ball my hands into fists and concentrate on the pain and not showing it so that I don't do anything dangerous. I hold myself as though nothing had happened and walk down the staircase, Blaze is sitting about five steps down reading I notice that he glairs at me but doesn't say anything before returning to his dorm. _If I keep this up they will know. _I walk through the common room and although there aren't many people there every eye that is there is on me. _They will tell the ones that aren't here._

I keep my head up and make it to my dorm I walk into my bathroom and almost collapse letting the pain take me. I see it all happen again in my head and feel that anger I smash the mirror with my fist and put a hole through my bathroom door with my foot. I fall to the ground _this is so useless _and cry out in pain. I heal myself and see myself in one of the shards from the mirror. _ I look rustled, I can't live like this, but I can't see an alternative._ I pick up a sharp shard and press it lightly against my wrist. _Just push and slide. _I shut my eyes and feel the cold edge of the glass. _And if it doesn't work? If McGonagall finds me and I have to answer to all their questions? What then? _I let the shard fall to the ground. I take a few deep breaths and think _I lived through this before I can do it again, I can make it. _I take a few more deep breaths and try to get all the raging emotions out of me.

I head up to McGonagall's dorm. "Where have you been?" she asks _like I need to tell her where I am._

"working." _Nice and vague_

"On what?" I raise an eye brow. _What could you think?_

"A neutraliser." _That I don't need._

"How's it coming?" _How long to I need to stay here?_

"Fairly good." She smiles and I sit on her couch and slide my suitcase out from under it, take out some students work and start marking it.

"So that's where you hid it?" _you were expecting under the floorboards weren't you?_

"It's not hidden."

"Just not noticeable." I smile slightly at the exact words and their accuracy.


	3. 3 lavender hol's

S.F.S****

Lavenders summer(with cyclone and mum)

By: weat-bix 

Rating: R this is probably a little less but I cant really telland it is violent.

**Warning:** profanities, violence/fights, child abuse, av family probs? and my different way of thinking/dreaming.

Disclaimer: J.K.Rowling owns most characters, muggles. I own a my subconscious or whatever makes my dreams even though I cant control.

Summary: lavender has run away and hears a cyclone warning she feels she has to warn her mum and brother.

Category: general/angst

Spoilers: Harry Potter books not really but

A/N: The first part of this was a dream of mine(that's why the surroundings don't fit with England), I thought it would fit in with this bunch of stories so I changed a version of me to lavender brown to be a fanfic, its not worthy to be a original fic and less people would read it then anyway. I guess the cyclone in my dream was brought on by the one on the news. Don't you just love the news. surreal sarcasm.(if such a thing exists)

**tha dream**

Rustling in the sugarcane growth where I was sleeping woke me up. I tried to wriggle down deeper so that the person wouldn't see me and I would be able to sleep here another night. It was warm enough, fairly humid and muggy though. My movement probably alerted him to the fact that I was there as he walked towards me. "Hay who's there." I stayed quiet. He kicked and got my leg. I stayed quiet hoping he was stupid enough to move on, no such luck. He bent down and with one quick movement had lifted me to my feet and kept his grip on my shirt. "Lavender? What are you doing here?"

"Blaze? What are you doing here?"

"I help my dad out on his farm in the holidays. What are you here for? Don't you have a home to go to?" Blaze said with that teasing voice of his. He always did that. Picked up on something serious and bugged people about it as if it was a joke.

"Maybe I got a home and I just prefer the cane fields."

"You cant stay here. I got to get trespassers off."

"But Blaze." I wined

"Piss off Lavender!" he swung the stick at me. Not to hurt me I'm sure but to get me going. I ran fast at least that way he knew I wouldn't walk back.

I walked along the road. It was another long one you know the country type where you need to drive to get to the neighbours place and where it's a kilometer from your front door to your letter box. I live on a road like this when I stay with my mum anyway. But I never seem to stay there when I do. The exact road is about 5 K's west of here it runs parallel to this one. I cut across the farm to get here. The farm we live on, then the one behind ours. Then I crossed the small dirt road and went into Blaze's. I had started out walking toward the closest town but now I was looking for another farm growing stuff I could hide in but these farms were big so I knew it would be a long walk, I just hoped I was there by night fall.

I saw another building it was a small shabby one like the one my mum has. One story, old tin roof, a kitchen and dining room and lounge room all in one connected to bedrooms and a bathroom. "Compact living with every thing you need" is what mum calls it. My older brother calls it a shit hole.

I cut through the cane field to get there, there wasn't much growth just some natural trees, they probably grazed animals or something. I went to the house anyway it was cloudy like it was going to rain real heavy soon. But it was still very hot and muggy. I thought of the way the rain usually cools down the air and wished it would hurry up and rain. I wanted to get to a part on the outside of the house where there would be a tap I could drink from. I snuck up to the house and crawled up close to it along the ground so that if the people inside the house looked out a window they wouldn't see me.

The house wasn't in good nick the walls were almost falling off and I could hear everything the people inside said. "Turn off that dam TV it's a waste of electricity."

"But it's the news, you never know when it might say something important."

"The news isn't bothered with the country stuff. If it was we'd get better reception."

"Hear that dear. A cyclone warning for us."

I ran as soon as I heard that. There was a cyclone warning and I was in an almost empty field. And my mum and brother, they didn't have a TV they wouldn't get a warning. I had to warn them.

I started to run back towards my mums place, cutting through the fields, but it was a long way so I slowed to a jog by the time I go to the first dirt road. By the time I got to our property I was just walking fast. It took me about an hour and a half to get from the back edge of our property to our house. I looked at the flimsy unlocked screen door and around at the dark clouds in the sky. it had started to rain fairly heavily while I was walking through our property and the wind had picked up quite a bit too making it harder for me to walk but allowing me to dry off fast once I was out of the rain. The heat that was still in the air also helped. As I got close to the house lightning struck somewhere near the horizon. I hoped that the cyclone would miss us and we could just stay with the storm. Our house might be able to withstand a storm.

I opened the door and called out for mum, but the wind was making a lot of noise so no-one heard me. I took a quick look around the room, same as when I left yesterday morning. An old stove some rusted pots and pans the same table as when I was a kid, lots of draws and cupboards, an almost empty fridge making a racket and the window with a better lock than the door. I turned to the door on my right. It was one of those doors that open at the top and bottom like in the shops, its odd to be in this house but it had always been like that. I rapped on the door and opened the top half locking the bottom half so that when it got closer that would already be done.

Mum was sitting on the bed looking out an open window at the storm. "Mum. You've got to shut the window and board this place up. There's a cyclone warning mum!" I screamed panicky.

"Lavender. Where have you been? Running off like that. You're as bad as your father!" she said angrily.

"Mum not now, there's a cyclone coming!"

"So that's why you came back here was it? Not for us, not for your family. Just so you'd be safe during a storm!"

"You need to shut the windows and lock the door mum!"

"Don't you tell me what to do Lavender! You never see through a decision you make!"

The really scary part of what she said was that she was sober. She had said many things like it to me before but only once she got drunk. When her eyes were out of focus they weren't so accusing and their rage wasn't directed at anything specific, like me.

I leapt over the bottom half of the door to close her window. I loved her despite what she felt about me and I didn't want her to get hurt. She tripped me over before I could get there and I banged my head on the wall below the window on my fall to the ground.

"Stay out of my room!" she screamed as she picked me just off the floor and threw me the two feet to the end of her bed. I laid in the fetal position on the floor against her bed. And she kicked me in the stomach a few times. She was short and thin I could have bashed her easily if I had been able to get up the courage to do it. She was my mum and I loved her and I had spent my youth being vulnerable to her. Due to the fact that I had been a kid and small and miles away from any kind of help. I couldn't get the fact that I could beat her to stay in my mind convincingly. My older brother stood at her door for a coupe of kicks totally aware of what was happening before he made himself noticed.

"You came back?" he said casually as though we were having dinner.

"There's a cyclone warning!" I said panicky

"Shit!" he banged his head on the door frame "mum you've got to shut the windows and lock the doors stay in here ok."

"alright." She always listens to him. Why won't she pay attention to me? She's always liked him and hated me, it's not fair.

I gave my brother a pleading look an obvious please-get-me-put-of-here-look. And he gives me one of his own, a smug this-is-the-safest-room-for-a-cyclone,-stay-with-mum-look one that takes in the full situation and laughs at my position – on the floor, with a danger stopping me from leaving and a danger in here with me.

My mum walked to shut the window and I edged along the floor to the door, my brother locked it. My mum turned to me and kicked my stomach again pushing my back up against the door. She kicked me again "your as bad as your father you should have stayed in a field for the cyclone! I don't know why you came back." She kicked me again but I was already hurt from her words, she wasn't drunk this time and she knew what she was saying and how it would affect me, she wanted to hurt me. She kicked me again and again.

**tha faze outta dream and inta tha imagination.**

I managed to unlock the bottom half of the door and when she kicked me again the door opened behind me and I slid through it. On the other side of the door I closed it and locked it again. I heard her sit on her bed.

I walked to the room that I shared with my brother but he had locked the door so I banged on it but he was pretending not to be in there. I opened the door to the bathroom and looked around there were razor blades and glass medicine bottles and a mirror that could break so I though it wasn't the best place to be windy. I looked over the last room left. I took the knives out and filled the bath a little and threw them in I also threw in the forks and some pots and plates. The wind rattled the roof more and I was scared that it might come off. I locked the bathroom door and filled the sink throwing any other loose things in it. The wind blew a mighty gust and lightning struck very close. I went into the little bit of a hallway made between the bedroom and bathroom. Curled up in the corner and hoped I hadn't forgotten anything.

It wasn't long until the roof was starting to pull off letting the wind in above the walls. All the cupboard doors opened and rattled around. The table slid at me but got stuck where the hall came out of the wall, it slid back across the room. It was very noisy for a bit then a cupboard door broke and flew down the hallway and hit my arm. I grabbed my arm and wiggled my fingers, it wasn't broken it just hurt a lot. In a way that was a comfort.

**tha imagination.**

The bathroom doors hinges came out and it blew inwards still holding on by the lock. There was smashing and broken bits of glass medicine bottles flew out the door. Some smaller pieces got my arms and legs but I was out of the way of the larger pieces that smashed into the wall and blew in the other direction. The cupboard door came back toward me but missed this time, I grabbed it after it hit the wall and placed it in front of me like a shield.

After a while the wind calmed down and I decided that the cyclone missed us and we got a windy storm from near it as the house wouldn't have coped with a cyclone.

I stayed behind my door-shield but mum came out of her room. "god what a mess." She kicked a bit of broken glass out of her way. My brother came out of his room and kicked my door he walked into the room and put the slightly bent table back in its place. I put the door next to me and walk into the room. I took the things out of the sink and put them back where they came from. "So you come home to this! You get here then the place is a mess!"

I remained quiet it was normally the thing to do. "Well."

We picked up the glass and tried to put the place back together. Once it was close to live-in-able mum put the stove on and asked me, "Where are my pots?"

"In the bath." I replied going and getting them.

"Why on earth did you put them there?"

"So they wouldn't blow away."

"You run off, you come back for a cyclone, everything gets messed up, glass goes everywhere and you put my pots in the bath. Why do you have to be such a stupid bitch!" she looked up at me and managed to make me fear her, she pushed me back into the stove and I put my hand out to break my fall and it caught in the fire my hand stung and my mum started it. I punched her head and she fell backwards across the room banged her head on the wall and stayed lying on the ground unconscious. I gaped at her and my big brother gaped at me. I ran out the door and didn't stop running until the next morning. I hitched a ride to a larger town. I could take care of myself. I could live my life. I couldn't go back.

A/N: I don't like the ending but I cant think of a better one.


	4. 4 snapes family

S.F.S****

Snape had a family

By: weat-bix 

Rating: R to be safe even though I cant read it.

**Warning:** profanities, violence/ child abuse, abusive relationships, a relationship (I can't right happy ones but I kind of got close) and my ever different way of thinking.

Disclaimer: J.K.Rowling owns most characters, muggles. & sorta their situations. I own a weird enough mind to think of the stuff I wrote like this (as well as some other ways)

Summary: Snape had a family before but I don't think they were too nice. This is what comes when I think about that.

Category: general/angst

Spoilers: Harry Potter books even five.

A/N: ok here's the deal – don't read this if you're looking for anything with a happy ending, it has happy bitz but From book 5 one of the snape memo thingies and some unknown screams.

**Snapes Monologue _11) first train trip to school_**

I sat alone on the train half an hour early and thought of yesterday, it still scared me, I knew I would be safe at Hogwarts now and I wasn't in pain any more but that didn't stop it from being scary. It wasn't the pain that scared me, I didn't like the pain but that was over. The glint in my fathers eye was terrifying but I was getting away from it for as longer than I had in my whole life, the smell of blood disgusted me but I was used to that and it didn't scare me. What had scared me was the rage I was filled with as he attacked my mother. I knew that at that moment if I had the power to kill him I would have, I would have done something worse than he has ever done (that I know about anyway). I knew I didn't stand a chance fighting him, he is twice my size and very strong, that was why it took me so long to attack him, I know I wouldn't feel right letting my mum cop it from him, I've don't that before it makes me feel mean, even though I know I don't stand a chance. I watched my mum take it until I couldn't stand her screams then I attacked. I would have killed him if I could and that scares me. If I was his age or if I had his strength, if it was a fair fight he would have been dead. But it wasn't a fair fight I'm eleven and he's not he had a belt and a wand and I didn't he has experience and makes people his own age scared I don't. and for once I don't mind it being a unfair fight. If I had killed him mum would have killed me, she hates him just as much when he's like that but she believes that he'll just get over it and stop, she thinks he'll go back to being himself the way he was when they got married and they can live happily ever after, she is living in a fairy tail and I told her but she refuses to accept it, she thinks she cant live without him, I think she's nuts.

**Snapes Parents _17) evil?_**

"Debs said I was evil, I'm not am I, I can't be evil can I?" the girl said nearly in hysterics.

"Deb that Huflepuff?" the boy asked confused, hugging her.

"Yea. She said all slytherins were evil including me right to my face and then she tried to hit me like a muggle or something." She was still rambling but calming down a little in the boys arms.

"She tried to hit you?"

"And she said I was evil. You don't think I'm evil do you?"

He held her away from his face so that they were staring into each others eyes about three inches apart. "You are evil dear. But not as evil as me. And I'd love you even if you were all evil." He gave her a heart-warming and heart felt smile.

She began to back away at the start but by the time he said that he was evil she had come closer to him without even realising it. "Your not evil, your perfect."

She kissed him in a gentle but passionate kiss filled with love and unfulfillable desire. When they finally came apart he said "how can you be so sure of me? I'm a fuck up. Really what is it you want with me?"

And she replied before she even knew what she was going to say "eternity."

They sat in each others company staring at the fire from the small lounge not saying anything just holding hands and occasionally kissing, both just happy to enjoy each others company and both thinking that they could stay there forever and still want more time to stay like that.

It was long after dark on that peaceful night when she fell asleep in his arms leaning on him. He spent the few hours before he fell asleep still holding her, smoothing her hair with his fingers and enjoying the gentle smell of her perfume.

**Snapes' Father _17) early violence_**

It was the next day that he caught up with Deb "hey Debs I think we got to have a little chat." She had already gone to bed and didn't know what he had planed, he wasn't sure she would agree with it but he couldn't let someone hurt her the way Deb had and get away with it. 'If you let someone do something to you chances are they'll do it again and again.'

"Then say what you want, I can hear you." She looked at him considering him filth unworthy his relationship with her old friend.

"A personal chat!" he said making sure she got the idea but left her friends anyway.

"Yea?" she had a mind to snap him one and thought it best to describe herself away from her housemates so she went with him anyway.

They entered the small room and he slammed the door and rounded on her using the height he had which wasn't a lot but was enough from being a average sized male "you made her cry."

"She shouldn't be with you, she's too good for you!"

"I still love her!"

"Bullshit, you're a bastard and you know it, you can't love, you're just overwhelmed that there is someone out there that doesn't hate you but if she stays with you she will hate you."

"And your one to speak, you were supposed to be her friend and you called her evil!"

"She wouldn't stop dropping hints about you, and how fucking great you were, literally or not I don't know and I don't want to know."

"And that justifies you trying to hit her." he threw Debs into the desk behind him, he might not have been very tall for a male but he was strong. She bent over from the unexpected pain.

"She can't stay with you, look at yourself, fucking violent and trying to hurt me!"

"Don't you ever try to hurt her again!" He kicked her.

"Does she know about this side of you, do you hurt her?" she asks this with full questioning eyes that show she is truly worried about her old friend despite her earlier actions.

"I could never hurt her. She is my world."

"If I ever find out otherwise –"

"Same from me if I find out that you ever try to hurt her again."

"That your word?" she asks with hatred in her voice even though she knows that his answer makes no difference.

"The honest word of an evil bastard." He says with so much truth and is the only thing he truly trusts himself on that he cares about her.

She nods and tries to hold herself up stand for her old friend she walks to the door and leaves him looking at her blood on the desk wondering if he did that to her and thinking that he had to keep himself in control to care for his love.


End file.
